sea/bay. day.

THIRTY.

What is so frightening about this number? Why, despite the fact that I have felt that twenty- eight and twenty-nine were immense amounts of work and I am finally feeling grounded and "content" does THIRTY still cut like a knife?

I was confident that my last two years of preparation, Saturn-return enduring, life-lesson learning and personal growth were going to make the actual moment of my 'turning' easy. Perhaps unnoticed(?). Yet like the minute hand on the clock and its eardrum-blowing *TICK* to, say, an inmate on death row waiting for the other shoe to drop, the TICK struck loudly, and came by surprise and I spent the first half of my big day in an even bigger funk.

Swirling like the incoming tide, my mind went to work obsessing over life's little details, compromise, the notion of contentment, the concept of fulfillment, and an overwhelming feeling of failing at it all. I guess I had that " Oh no! What am I doing here?!" sort of general commitment freak-out. Daunting.




But luckily I had already lined up a journey, a companion, and some time with the sea.




Ahh, the sea...vast, expansive, mysterious, unknown, quiet and calm despite its great action and intent, beautiful and powerful all at once. The sea is a centering place, accidentally metaphorical and sweet. Smelling salt sea air enlivens the nose, the senses, and awakens the mind. Watching nature active and at work inspires me to do, continue, be. By the end of the day "thirty" was beginning to settle in a little better, my mind became calm, my level of contentment felt momentarily satisfying, and my future, like the sea, became a simple mystery to which I can look forward mostly fondly.


I am grateful for my sea/bay day. O

And one thing I have certainly learned over the years: On big days its always good to have a mini-journey on hand and someone lovely to share it with.