Saturday, January 3, 2009

Square tires, ice fog and EPA air quality advisories! Oh my!

About five days ago the weather took a turn for the worse. By now I'd say it's dipped down to negative fifty, as in -50...numerically, at night in the valley where my little heat-box cabin lies. Despite the makeshift plastic window sheaths I have fashioned, frost is overtaking my cabin via all the exits...sneaking in underneath the "airtight" door, sticking around the edges of the windows and onto the sills and frames, freezing over the very screws that hold these key components in place. They look like little ice cookies. M&M's. Not nearly as exciting. I suppose this is the payback I get for minimalizing the extreme-ness that winter could muster back when it was a mild -22.

Well, I surrender...I've been one-upped.

I had always heard scary terms from Fairbanks' year-rounders like "ice fog" and "square tires" as I kept up my 'summer only' persona over the last two years. Well, now these notions are no longer tall tales. I have seen, and felt, them first hand. The latter is reminiscent of the Flintstones' (auto)mobile, save having to pedal my bare feet extremely fast against the naked ground to propel the structure forward. After an eight hour shift at the book store/cafe though, alleviated by fifteen minutes of warming up the guts of my treasured jeep cherokee as I fidget like a lady-in-waiting that it may deliver me safely home, I unplug the heating mechanisms from the outlet, hop inside, and put the pedal gently down. Thwump! thuw-thuw-thuw-thuw! Square tires indeed.

After a few minutes of 'burning rubber' the tires remember their previous form and soften just a little. By the time I get back home they are finally ready for the task of rolling. I guess, better late than never.

If I take the highway home past the train yard and "industrial alley" to use the term loosely, I get to pass through frozen exhaust, hovering eerily around the lightposts and other structures, just a few feet above my trusty car. It is odd, ghostly, awe-inducing, and like a bad accident, crime scene or horror movie I want to see more. Only with my hands over my eyes, fingers cracked for peeping through. Just a bit. And from the comfort of a heated car, café, home. The fumes spewed out of mufflers from backs of cars and diesel trucks, emanating from trains, factories, and various industrial buildings seem to freeze and float in space, as if someone were privy to a giant fog machine and infiltrating our arctic stage. It's cool. But, oh my! It's toxic.

When walking out of some fine establishment where down-clad winter brave-hearts escape from their one-roomers and vacation families, say Fred Meyer (think Wal-Mart) or Wal-Mart (think K-Mart plus groceries) the smell of diesel tickles the nose. Gags the throat. Many leave their cars locked and running for far too long in my opinion, utilizing such luxuries as "autostart" or spare key sets at the very least. I was not surprised to hear my favorite NPR host remind those of Fairbanks proper of the critical air quality advisory....if one was thinking of going on an outdoor excursion it is ill-advised due to polution levels in the air. (Not to mention the fact its INCREDIBLY COLD). But it turns out this is further exacerbated by the waste from wood-burning stoves to the Nth degree...to levels that set EPA running north to rectify the air if Fairbanks can't do so alone. And fast.

Something tells me this scenario plays out each year.

Surprisingly, the winter air and I have remained on the same team though. I'd greet it briefly and cordially on trips to my outhouse or to run the car a while...I'd even embrace it on short walks between my brother's house and mine, wearing socks, pants, capilenes, more socks, a sweater, a fleece, a thermal top, a hat, two hoods, sorels, my trusty headlamp and a scarf around the face to reveal only my eyes for navigating. Oh and two pairs of gloves.

Today, however, Old Man Winter has taken this thing to the next level. He took my car, froze its guts and left me stranded in my heat-box for an undetermined amount of time. Today this winter stuff is a bully and I no longer in control...next topic: "cabin fever"!

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